This is Ludwig. You may know him from his ever popular live streams, gaming content, and chess boxing events. Yeah, I did that, I did that. Yeah, let’s think, good job. Behind him is a PC that plays Minecraft, and behind him behind him is all the servos, solenoids, and relays that are going to be punishing him for playing the game. What? Especially punishing him when he does something wrong. Wait, what do you mean? Punish how? What is my ass? What is that? The tricky part is only you know exactly What the is it? Which effects we’ve created and no one Tell me! Knows exactly, I don’t know. Something just went in my ass. I don’t know. What do you mean you don’t know? Do you know that happened? Are you controlling it? I know that because you told me. Is that the button? No, that’s for my teleprompter. All right, is this you too? That’s a truck. I have a few guesses as to what’s gonna happen. I’m willing to bet that if you go underwater it’s gonna have something to do with this swipe bidet that we’ve got here. Yeah, that’s literally dripping water right now. As for the spikes in the seat, I mean, hey, if you play your cards right, you might never find out what they’re for, or if you play your cards right, you might find out a lot. Okay, all right. Depending on what kind of cards you like. Oh, , man, I wasn’t ready for this, okay. But what you will have to be ready for is this message from our sponsor. War Thunder, you drive tanks, you pilot planes, you do the pew-pew, it’s both fun and realistic. And you can play for free right now on PC and consoles using the link below. Simple. Why have days like today when you can have bidets like this? Whoa. It doesn’t matter. The point is– Off the top? When we started carrying Ludwig’s line of swipe bidets on lttstore.com, we knew we had to do something cool to promote them. I thought we were just gonna do like a one-on-one. No. Thanks to the team at SignalRGB, it ended up being surprisingly simple. Their universal RGB control software already features integration with Minecraft. So they generously helped us adapt the code to, instead of say, turning your lights red when you take damage, to send a call to an ESP32 that can trigger, well, any number of fun effects. So I have to play the game, and if I F*** up in the game, you’re gonna F*** me up in real life. And a real big-ass company worked on this. So hop up for a second, though. First, I’d love for you to take a look. At what we’ve created. Yeah, so I’m noticing instantly we got two swipes mounted, which I can only imagine is like when you watch a 4D movie, the only effect that they give you, which is spraying you with water. Oh, we have so much more than one. Then they have. Oh, like that’s not going to trigger later. I know that. I don’t know what’s going to trigger it. That’s the issue is I don’t know what’s going to trigger it. I don’t know what this is. That’s just scary to me. This is I’m pretty sure you attach to an Xbox 360 to say slurs online. I don’t know what this is. This is just straight up. I’m scared to touch it. Is this an airbag? I mean, don’t crash and you won’t know. Okay. All right. This is a gun. Why do you have a gun? Why is it pointed at the chair? Am I the only one sitting in this? Are you sitting in this? I actually don’t know the answer to that. Oh, man. With that out of the way, take a seat. Why don’t you have a seat right over there? Okay. To get things started, we wanted to put you onto a fun little map based on Wipeout or Takeshi’s Castle. In Minecraft. Okay. All right. Okay. Tanner, who is the games master today, is providing instructions from here on out. Where exactly would you like me to stand? You’re going to want to take probably two steps back. Why would he have to take two steps back? Because he signs my paychecks. Okay, that’s actually a pretty F*** fair point, Tanner. You know I’m really good at Minecraft. Good. We actually do know that. I’m one of the best F*** gamers around. If we were to do a one-on-one, you wouldn’t win a single game. What was that for? That was a misclick. His sinuses are as clean as my rectum. That’s your sales pitch. Swipe Bidet, LTTstore.com. Okay, all right. It’s basically, why is there a countdown? Okay. Is it a parkour map? Here we go. Okay. Yeah, it kind of looks like it. All right, go down the water. Okay. Woo, yeah, but I wouldn’t go all the way in the water. Okay, all right. Yeah. All right, get up here. Oh, I didn’t do it that time. I didn’t, let’s have a little respect for the game. What is that? That’s just our air compressor in the shop. That’s nothing. So I know if I touch. Dude, it’s aimed so high. Okay, all right. Do you notice what I’m noticing? That I’m having a lot more fun than you. That I’m not even hitting the water and it’s setting off. I think what’s happening is when your state changes, when you go in water or go out of water. What you, are you dead? You think it’s when my state changes and it’s not. Yeah. Can I tell you something privately? It’s not that mother F*** right next to us pressing a goddamn button. I’ll tell you what, I’ll hold it. I’ll hold it, I’ll hold it. Wait, how? So wait, if I do this? Well, don’t do it, though. Well, let’s just test it. I mean, yeah. Oh, God. What did you think was gonna happen? Oh, God, get out of the water! Okay, stop, stop! All right, let me focus. That’s your product! Eventually, it’ll run out. If you don’t want it to have such outstanding cleaning power, then maybe you should design it with a less powerful jet. I couldn’t, I couldn’t dream of that world. Well, the good news is I’m F*** electric. So we’re on to the next part. Whoa! Dude, it teleported me! It was a checkpoint, it teleported. I didn’t know that happened. Ah! Oh my God, I’m gonna have to swim all the way back. Is it all right if it gets on the keyboard a little bit? You don’t really want to stay in there. Do we have extra pants? Okay, you’ve got this, right? Yeah, yeah. Oh! I wouldn’t turn around. What was that? Did you see that? No, but I heard you saying you were really good at Minecraft. You know I’m really good at Minecraft. Okay, but it– You can’t always believe everything you hear. Can you turn around for a second? Come here, come here, come here, you. What the f*** was that? dude this is crazy it’s just on my in arm man it’s hitting my arm in the right side of my head we were kind of expecting you to beat this a lot faster No Okay, we have other maps would you like to try an easier map What is this smoke even me? No, I don’t want to try anything we’re gonna be here till we finish This is gonna go from funny real quick to it’s gonna hurt you. I’m gonna hurt you. Oh My god This is insane I get it. I get it. I get it. I’m in the water. I’m in the water now. Cue speedrun music now Oh god, I think that might have been too early Dude that jump is so hard that you don’t understand how hard a three block jump is. We’re fine. We’ve only been here for seven minutes This is not gonna be seven minutes in the video. So just understand understand the video you’re watching right now I’ve been getting I’ve been getting sprayed for seven minutes straight float plane exclusive LMG.GG/floatplane You guys are gonna have lots of behind the scenes and extras from this I suspect dude My mic has got to be soaked. That’s okay. That’s a price. I’m willing to pay Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Okay. Okay. He’s gonna get it. He’s gonna get it. This is it. I don’t think it’s possible by man. I don’t think man can do it. AI is necessary for this. Okay. Should we move him to the next map? No. Oh, I see. Oh, no way. Come on. Wait, it’s not over? Come on. Don’t get hit off. Oh my god. That’s just the first checkpoint. Yeah. That was actually embarrassingly slow. Can I towel you off at all? Yeah, please. Yep. Debbie? Yep. That’s great. There you go. That’s great. Yep, there you go. That’s LTT’s first quality. Okay. Okay. Okay. What? Why? I mean, the instructions were pretty clear. They said don’t get hit off. Yeah, yeah. It says don’t get hit off. Yeah, right. So then you need to follow the instructions. Okay, all right. You’re right. He’s actually been an amazing guest and I feel genuinely bad about what we’re doing to him right now. Okay, okay, no, no, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. It’s about pattern recognition. Yeah. Cycle one, cycle two, cycle three, cycle four. Cycle one, cycle two, cycle three, cycle four, cycle five. Oh. That’s a long gap though. Okay, yeah. So cycle one. Cycle two. Cycle three. Yeah, I thought it was after five. I honestly think the cycle is different every time. I was just saying that out loud. Ah. Ah, dude, I wish there F*** was sense to what this is happening. You know what’s stupid? You hang out with like XQC and you’re like, let me give you a free computer, right? Like, like Carl Jacobs, here’s a free computer. And then it’s me. And it’s like, oh, how about you get, wear our merch and get soaked for me now. For what it’s worth, Carl paid for that computer. Okay. You got this, you got this. Oh, you got this. Oh, oh. Oh, that’s. Where do I go? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God, is that another three block jump? Yeah. Okay, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes. Okay, okay. Dude, what is the pattern? Ah! f*** man. Really though, how long are we gonna make him do this, you guys? Until he quits. You’ve seen his subathons, right? I don’t quit, it’s not my thing. Yeah, guys. If it’s a war of attrition you want, it’s a war of attrition you’ll get. I’ll do this ’til it’s not fun for you. I’m not doing anything. No, none of us are. Okay, I’m just trying to, here, I gotcha, I gotcha. I don’t need it, I don’t need it. Okay, all right. I don’t need it. I’m a parkour god. Can we please also have a change of clothes ready for him? I get him engineering samples of the socks. So he has new socks. He’s probably soaked down to his socks at this point. Just get him everything. I’m so wet. It was all part of our secret plan to get him as into our merch as we are into his. So I’m getting so frustrated. I’m mad. I’m not even mad at you guys. I’m just mad at myself. God, perhaps. What? What? What? No, I had that one. Okay. One more run. One more run. Dude, it’s, there’s so much water. Are you guys looking at this? It’s a powerful bidet. We can’t change that. Thanks, I was thirsty. You sick man. All right, check me out, last one. Dude, I actually think you’re a bad person now. I wanna try. Can I try? Am I allowed to try? Be my F*** guess. Okay. All right. Man, I’m gonna need my own change of clothes here. Well, I don’t wanna miss this first jump, so I’m gonna make sure. Oh, damn. Okay, that’s a little frustrating. Yeah, and then imagine you’re just trying to get out of the water and it does it again. Yep. And then imagine you’re climbing the ladder and it does it a third time. You know what? I don’t really need to imagine it because I um, yeah, I got to experience it for my- See? Dude, if you get this, I actually think I’ll never play a video game again. All right. Okay, so just patience. Okay, it’s a virtue. Dude, I think it’s random. I think it is random. I think it’s actually random though. Like, random random. That’s what I said. I think it’s random. Well, what do you think random means? I think it’s random. Wait a sec, why the f*ck are you holding that? I’m playing video games. No, I’m playing video games. Give me that. No, don’t worry about it, don’t worry about it. No, you play your tiny tower some other time. Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it. Sorry, sorry, I have such fragile thumbs. Okay, don’t show him everything. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Don’t give him that. Okay, I think the explosions are just a distraction. I don’t think they’re anything. Yeah, they probably stop you running. I don’t think they’re anything. Okay. Maybe they are something Yeah, it’s going down my neck now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that’s that’s when it gets fun. Let’s go down the neck This is actually impressive this setup It’s like an Arduino Basically, yeah, I’m kind of a tech guy. Do you know that how I’m already past two of them? Damn it Okay, I’m out okay, what’s the next challenge Tanner that that’s just it that’s a glitch Okay, all right Illegally have to make that sound when I drink it. Okay, so I hit this I’m gonna drop and then I have to not hit A block. Okay. Oh, okay. I mean, I think you got this. It’s just swirls Easy water. Oh, that’s so but I did it, right? Oh, okay. What? What was that? Okay, I died. What happens? I believe. What? Am I supposed to fall in that tiny little? Oh, Jesus Christ. Jesus. What are these? They’re like little gel pellets. Oh, wow. Those are actually. Oh my God. They broke on my skin. Okay. He’s got this. He’s got. Dude. I know. Oh. Oh, God. I thought that was water. Oh, we’re good. Why does this smell like s**** ? Do you smell that? Actually, no. Dude, it smells putrid. The point we were trying to make is that that’s what your ass would be like without the swipe bidet. We’re really here to help you Can we at least get him changed out of the wet top? Have you ever tried our apparel? I’ve never tried your apparel. This is our devious plan to get you to do it. But you’ve somehow swindled me. Oh my God, that smells. Is that just a random punishment for him dying and stuff? Yeah. Okay. Oh my God. Are you sure you don’t want the hoodie in case that gun goes off again? I’d rather it hit me and then sue you. Come on, do it. Do it. Do it, coward. Do it! Do it! Do it, you little… Oh! Jeez, man. Okay. Instantly. Oh, my God. Instantly, there’s little marks that show. That’s like within a second. Guys! I promise you, I didn’t know exactly what they were going to hit you with. Oh, you need it to spread there. Wait, wait, you can hit this. Hit the white. Hit the white. What? No, I was going the wrong way. No! No! No! You didn’t hit the jumper. I didn’t, I wasn’t sure where the edge was. Yeah, I’m dead. Ah, damn it, that really hurts. All right, let’s go for our third challenge. Okay. How good are you at speed running? I can get it seated or random? Random. Oof. Romulus and Penis. Alright Romulus, let’s see what you got. How long should it take him to like win? Yeah, I could get it done, you know. It’s not exactly gonna be world record pace per se. I mean you made a stick. That’s more than I can do in Minecraft. Yeah. Do you know any, name three Minecraft creators? Carl Jacobs. Okay, bang. AntVenom. Sure, yeah, lock it in. Ludwig. No, I do not count. Who is the greatest Minecraft player of all time? Ludwig? Dude. Yes, this is like getting Magnus Carlsen and then saying, hey man, we want to see you arm wrestle. I don’t know what I’m the Magnus Carlsen of yet, but I’ll work on that. Yeah, I was about to ask. Okay, so what game should you be playing right now? Okay, the game I’m best at that I would never lose to in a single game, Super Smash Brothers Melee. Okay. I don’t think you would ever take a stock off me. Given a hundred games, I wouldn’t lose one to you. Really? Not one stock in a hundred games? Hey, hold on a second. I forgot about this. When you challenged me and you said you would beat me at any game. Yep. We still have to do that. I know. So what, am I coming down to LA later or what? And for what? Because I kind of feel like I should take him on in Minecraft based on how good he is at it. What’d I do? You took fall damage. Yeah, you need to come to LA. We’re going to do a bro versus bro. Okay, all right. Do you have your games list yet? Yeah. Go, shoot. I think I listed them on the LAN show. Shoot. I think one of them was Beat Saber. Okay, yeah, that’s fine. I think one of them was Anno 1800. Okay. Which was not made in the year 1800. It’s just about the year 1800. It’d be impressive though. You know what? I’ll take you on a Towerfall. Towerfall? Yeah. What is that game? It’s a platformer, like it’s a 1v1 platformer game. Can I keep it a stack with you? Keep it a what? Can I keep it a stack with you? A stag? A stack. A buck. What’s a stack? Can I keep it 100? 100 of what? A stack is 100. 100%. Can I be real? Can I be honest? Yeah, of course. I am not gonna come close to beating this game. Yeah, no, that’s fine. I have been slowly mining gravel just for like the past 10 minutes while we’ve been talking, making no progress, and I just ran out of pick. Fingers slipped. Let me try the last map. This map was inspired by the map called 11 Ways to Die, so they added some, cool. New updates must be at least easy difficulty. Don’t, that’s, yeah. I’m nervous, man. You’re doing great. I don’t know how to, I’m getting upset, I’m getting mad. I’m getting, and you know how I get when I get angry. So you picked a game. Where the object of the game is to die, but my object in real life is to not die. So you keep saying you, but I had nothing to do with it. Can I die in this room? How do I kill myself? Oh, but if you hit the harder ground does that hurt more? That’s gonna take a really long time! How do I kill myself? Okay, just don’t eat the food, right? Yeah. Oh my God, he sounds so defeated. What have you guys done to him? You saw how much energy he had when he came in here. At least, hey, we’re getting good luck with the RNG. The gun hasn’t gone off in a while. You just have you got to say Hey, he likes the butt puncher way too much All right. I did it. I’m done. I’m done. I’m done, man. I’m done. You know what we’re gonna win You know, we’re gonna beat We’re beating Wipeout. What? We’re gonna beat Wipeout. No, we’re not beating Wipeout. Oh my god, stop. It’s the only game here that we have any chance of beating. Holy . Holy . Come on. Oh, it’s a fog machine. I keep waiting at the top. Like it’s not going to… We have new pants for him, right? Yes. Okay, good. W, W in the chat. Warning, rotating logs. Okay. No, you got this though. Okay. Oh, that was so… I had it, I played so well. Did we use like water hardened components at all? Or like, are we just hoping for the best here? All the servers are waterproof, it’s fine. I kind of meant the keyboard. Well, what the, how are you supposed to deal with that? Yeah that wasn’t it. Thank you Linus for the quick analysis. Okay, hold on. Oh god. I’ve done Mr. Beast Island for 24 hours. I have to say this is the worst shoot I’ve ever done Linus. You’re hurting me. I’m sorry. Do I look wet? Yep. I mean, as a married man, I wouldn’t know much about it, but I think you look wet. Whoa, come on. Jesus. What is happening right now? Dude, it’s the part, it’s the, like, there’s a conveyor belt that’s, like, whipping back and forth. Shoot me. Shoot me right now. Shoot me right now. No, no, no, don’t. What did, what’s he breaking? Is he breaking things? I think he’s breaking things. I broke something. I told the TSA agents I came to visit a friend. Oh, man. Oh, that looks so good. I’m going to go fast. That looks so good, man. I’m going fast. Yeah, that looks so good. You were doing awesome. That was awesome. Where’s the checkpoint? Oh, no, there is no checkpoint. It hits them both. I just have to keep going. This one might be too hard, dude. You got me fired up saying that right now. Oh, no way. He’s at the halfway point. He’s halfway. I’m actually so, I can get this. Oh, no way dude. I’m going crazy here. I’m going crazy here We’re not done. We’re not done. At some point, your keyboard is going to break. My keyboard? Yes. Oh, damn it. Okay, this is very predictable. Oh, that’s good. Compared to everything so far. Why would you do that? What did you… Why did you do that? I’m not trying to be critical, but… Come on, buddy. Sit in the chair. Sit in the chair. He knows how to do it. Oh, the ledge. I don’t even know how this game works. I didn’t know you can walk on that ledge. You gotta walk on that ledge, but you gotta tighten it when the block’s done. Oh, that’s why you’re yelling at me. Yeah, because I didn’t know what you were doing. I thought you were just, like, going for it. I don’t even know where the ladder is. Oh, damn it. Ah, no! Wow. Ah, ah, ah, ow, ow, damn it! You know, my nickname in high school… Sorry, you were saying? My nickname in high school was Early Linus. It was Early Linus? Yeah. I was never on time for class. I’m totally unrelated. I’m totally unrelated. Your reaction speeds gone down people are talking about in the office You went too far forward you hit the next challenge you actually did it though you did it the first time It’s after me. Go ahead. Mop me. Oh, you don’t want to be mopped with what was on the floor. Mop me He’s in the zone now. Can you see this zone? Bop, bop, jump. Bop, bop, bop, bop. Bop, bop, jump. Bop, bop, bop, bop, jump. Bop, bop, bop, bop, jump. Last obstacle. They’re really close together. That’s miserable. What a miserable final challenge! I feel like the dev of this game didn’t keep in mind that some people are going to be playing with a bidet that targets them and hits them with water. Wait, wait, wait, I’m so stupid! Linus! I figured it out. Okay, here we go. Check this out. Oh! Um, this is a good idea. Why were we platforming first person? People are gonna be watching this like, "Look at these idiots!" You know what, we’ll cut all of that out. So all they’ll see is this, okay? Dude, you got this. Holy . And then here– Do you want first person for here? Yeah, I think so. Come on, man. Come on, we did this. And I helped. Huh? Third person was cheating. Third person was cheating? I don’t care. We didn’t know. Why was he cheating? Final jump. Okay. Whoa. What’s the final jump? I don’t really get it. Oh, wait. Okay, we got the drawbridge that goes down. Okay. But what is this? How do you– I don’t know, I think it just– Oh, it’s moving now. I get on it when it comes over here? You just get on it. Okay. Okay. Okay, so you just gotta bounce. Yeah, and not get hit by this thing. And then bounce, and then make it. This is as close as we get. Oh, backwards now. Okay, yeah, so I didn’t know how far it went. No, no, no, no, yeah. What do you know? What do you know? What’s the end? Here, look up for a second. Maybe we can see when it reaches the end of the track. Or we can count them on the way back, actually. Okay. No! Oh, you gotta hit the thing first. You gotta hit the bridge first. Wait, what? No, no, no, no, you’re not supposed to hit it. Oh, you don’t wanna dodge it. You’re supposed to dodge it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Hold on. No! Okay, so the timing’s gonna be fall, bounce, bounce Oh no, that’s definitely it, that’s definitely it. Okay, you’re good, you just gotta make it. Here. No, no, no. No, no, ’cause if you, no offense, if you cross the finish line after everything I have done. Oh, oh, oh, it’s we’re gonna do this now, it’s everything I’ve done. One, two, 11, 12, 12. And I hit my head there for sure, I felt it, I felt it. Okay, so it’s 12. I don’t know how to not hit my head though. Okay, 12, 12 clicks, 12 clicks then we make a leap. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Eleven! Did I count wrong? I think it moved one before you jumped on it. You didn’t say a word. Well, I couldn’t tell until you jumped and it wasn’t in the right spot. Ten, eleven. Oh! Ref, ref, please give me that. I’m so close. I’m so close. I can taste victory with my mouth. I’m so close. I’m so close. I…uh… I uh… Go now. Okay. Well, I was wrong. It’s okay. 3, 4, 5, 6, Okay. 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. I lost count. I lost count, Linus. I lost count. I freaked the f*** out because I lost count. 11, 12. It was too late. It was too late. I should have jumped while I was down. What? What? What is everyone snickering about? No. What do you mean no? What do you mean no? I mean you hit the finger with your head. Tell me when to jump, please. Okay, fine. I’ll tell you when to jump. Just say jump. Okay, I’m gonna say jump. Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12. Go now. Oh, yes! Oh, yeah. Yes! Wait, why is it going off now? Celebration! Oh my God. Oh, I’m so happy we did something of value. And it was barely valuable. I was gonna say, did we? Oh, man. Anywho, wow, we really had to dig into the archives for this shirt at the end here. Do we have a fourth level of shirt? These are supposed to be bits of ripped up masking tape to mark deficiencies in a wall. Really? Yeah. That is a deep cut. Yeah, ’cause my painters. For my house where I had an argument with them about the kind of paint they were using, satin or eggshell finish. It doesn’t matter. The point is, thank you so much for coming out. Thank you for having me. We’ll do the formal handshake thing. Can we get him, can we get him like- Anything. Anything, something, anything? Here. I’ll just, I’ll coddle myself like a child. And I’ll coddle our sponsor. War Thunder. What could be more satisfying than watching large vehicles get destroyed in a video game? Maybe. Watching over 2,000 vehicles get destroyed? Maybe. War Thunder is a free-to-play PvP vehicle combat game with a heavy emphasis on realism. The combat is immersive, with every tank, plane, and ship being modeled after their real counterparts, right down to how it feels to pilot them and the sounds they make. Feels good. One of the cooler features is the damage x-ray view, where whenever you destroy an enemy vehicle, you can see where your hits were most effective, making strategizing for next time easier. And there’s a game mode for everyone, from the casual to the most hardcore enthusiasts. So join over 70 million players from around the world playing War Thunder on PC, Mac, PlayStation, and Xbox, all with cross-play. Sign up for free using the link below and unlock an exclusive bonus pack to help you get started. If you guys enjoyed this video because you love… Punishment porn, maybe check out the one where I ended up eating a hot sauce straight up and getting my arm waxed for failing To guess the price of PC components. I’d like to watch that. Yeah, that’d make me feel good right now What they do to you is the same kind of thing they do to me. They hate treat me equal all creators equally I take that. Hey, thank you for having me If you guys would like you can have swipe bidets that don’t spray your face But instead your butthole and it is a life changer and I mean that genuinely even if you don’t buy it from LTTstore.com Which I would recommend get a bidet in your life
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